Of Pubs & Friendship

Last Sunday at our church’s coffee hour, Dave and I were talking with one of our fellow congregants about America’s obsession with Irish pubs.  He asked us why we thought this was the case, but neither of us could come up with a descent answer.  I volunteered that perhaps it has something to do with America’s obsession with the romanticized Irish culture.  He told us that the romanticized culture is actually more truth than fable.  Apparently the Irish pub truly has always been the center of Irish culture and villages.  There was usually one pub for one village, and so it was a place to socialize and build relationships in addition to getting a wee drink.  When one went into a pub, it wasn’t to sit by oneself and drink away the day, but rather to celebrate life and one’s companions, to catch up on the latest gossip, and to deepen connections with neighbors (who may have lived miles apart from each other in rural areas).  As a result, deep-seeded friendships blossomed because of the pubs.  And friendship and friendly behavior, we were told, were and still are a very serious thing to the Irish.  To this day the Irish consider a person’s lack of friendliness to be directly associated with a lack of that person’s social development.  In other words, if one lacks a friendly disposition, one is lacking in the whole development of the person.  The tradition of being friendly and welcoming still survives in modern Ireland, both in the North and in the Republic and is a dearly held piece of the culture.  Dave and I told our fellow parishioner that we have both felt this friendliness and welcoming atmosphere since we arrived in Belfast and especially from people at our church.  Literally every Sunday someone corners us to ask us how we are doing – not just in polite conversation, but genuinely wants to know if we are managing and if there is anything at all with which someone from church can be of help or service.  We felt most welcome right away as within the first week we set foot in Newtonbreda St. John’s, our church.  People did not treat us like the “foreigners” that we were, but rather quickly worked to bring us into the fold and feel as though we were genuinely a part of this group, this tribe.  In fact, within the first week we were treated by one of the long-time members to drinks – coffee drinks – and have had invitations from other people at church to meet up at other coffee shops and pubs as well.  Somehow people at our church realize how alienating it can be to live as foreigners in a strange land, and seem to want to do everything in their power to alleviate some of that homesickness.  We were told that many people in all of Ireland, both Catholic and Protestant, take to heart the example set by St. Patrick – being humble and serving others – and simply wanting to welcome all who come to visit.  A common greeting one might hear in Belfast is “You are most very welcome”, with the speaker meaning every word.  People here are simply welcoming and loving as part of their DNA.  It is a lesson I hope we take back to the U.S. and incorporate pubs and friendship into our lives back home.